went for sushi buffet today... gawd... haven't eaten so much in a long time... had the cheng1 si3 de4 gan3 jue2 juz now.. :P nonetheless it was still fun!

zeh's busy with her exmas.. and it's an understatement to say dat she's stressed... i guess there's juz too much to complete when u're in med school... poor her... i shall be nicer to her and buy her more sunflower seeds.. heez.. she's got diz super duper craving for chocolate coated sunflower seeds... goodness! u can't believe the rate she's devouring them manz.. muz be the stress! heeeheee...

life's getting boring... diz weekend will be yan2 xi2 ying2... but guess wat? i'm not a wee bit excited about it.. die die.. i betta hype myself up before the weekend.. thinking about it.. it's gonna be my last yr in the club.. from next yr onwards i'm gonna advance from ju4 le4 bu4 to xu4 le4 bu4 liaoz... together with all the lao3 ren2s.. haha!!! i'm so old!! cmi!!

listening to love songs on class 95... whoohoo.. it's realli good... i shall switch camp from 933 to class 95 from today onwards... i love the feeling of lazing in bed and listening to good music... sums up the day with a nice ending... love it!



extracted the following quotes from "tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom...

*detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. on the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. that's how you are able to leave it."

*if you hold back on the emotions - if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them - you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. you're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the greif. you're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.

*but by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. you know what pain is. you know what love is. you know what grief is. and only then can you say,'all right. i have experienced that emotion. i recognise that emotion. now i need to detach from that emotion for a moment.'

detachment. that's what i need.



just realised i haven't blogged for quite a while.. it has been a wonderful holiday for mi! went for huang cheng yesterday.. thot it was quite nice... the first ju4 was written by an chyi, it's called ban4 bei1 shui3... is ur cup half fun or half empty?? den, the last ju4 was written by darius, the plot was rather lame, but it was super entertaining! heez.. :P

went to school for drama prac today... was super mad at J (still mad though).. urgh... he said i did nothing for the drama other than saying things dat demoralised them, and i always complain.. bleah.. am i dat bad? i was so pissed dat i juz left with th to queensway to buy shoes.. i realli dun understand why does he always haf to pin point at mi.. he's realli rude towards mi, and he'll always use harsh words like "shut up".. he's onli so bu4 ke4 qi4 to mi la.. realli sets mi off to think wat's the whole point of doing so much for soiree, for harmoc, for him.. he restructured the whole drama com, now wj's the head, and xb and i are out of the com.. sux manz! i realli hope wj wud do a good job, although i'm not exactly very confident of her capabilities.. but maybe with the help of other pple things wud turn out juz fine.. i dun like it when things haf to be drawn so clearly.. i mean, we're in the com to help out for soiree, wat's with diz dumb power struggle manz... i'm outa diz shit.. not going to get all frustrated by such stoopid things.. they can half all the power they want, i dun care! i'm sick of diz.. so tired and irritated... *urgh* realli cannot stand it when J bosses mi ard.. WTH!

urgh.. ok feeling much betta after ranting.. shall talk about happier things now... went to queensway to buy shoes today! whoohoo! i bought diz pair of adidas walking shoes with yellow strips! zeh said it's very flashy, but nvm, i like! lalala...

going for jts at sentosa tmr! i shall attempt to tan myself, although i haf diz strong feeling dat i'll get sun-burned, again.. :( but for the sake of the fun, wateva la! heez.. :P

my new resolution.. i will not let J boss mi ard again.. he can go and die and get other pple to help out for all i care.. *bish*

i think i sound violent... oh wellz...



~~~~
After 21 years of marriage, I discovered a new way of keeping alive the spark of love. A little while ago I had started to go out with another woman. It was really my wife's idea.

"I know that you love her," she said one day, taking me by surprise.

"But I love YOU," I protested.

"I know, but you also love her."

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

"What's wrong, are you well?" she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

"I thought that it would be pleasant to pass some time with you," I responded. " Just the two of us."

She thought about it for a moment then said "I would like that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting".

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. my mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu to her. Her eyes could only read
large print. Half way through the entree, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me.

A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said.

"Then it's time for you to relax and let me return the favor," I responded.

During the dinner we had an agreeable conversation, nothing extraordinary - but catching up on recent events of each others lives. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you". I agreed.

"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home.

"Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.

An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I was almost sure that I couldn't be there but, nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant to me. I love you."

At that moment I understood the importance of saying, in time: "I LOVE YOU" and giving our loved ones the time that they deserve.

Nothing in life is more important than God and your family and friends. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off 'til "some other time".

Someone once said "I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."

I think this is true with your in-laws, grandchildren, sisters, brothers and your friends. Anyone that means something to you-you should spend time with them and let them know how much they mean to you as often as you can.
~~~~

Beautiful story isn't it? juz watched big fish, and i thot of the movie as i was reading the story.. big fish was a really nice movie.. nice and interesting plot... and i was happily munching my subway sandwich in the cinema and making so much noise with the paper wrapper.. heez... subway's gonna be my next fav pigging out place.. it's REALLY good *slurps*

gotta do my complex nos tutorial 1... vinct's coming at 8am tmr!!! ahh!!! i'm onli half way thru.. oppz! dun haf plans for tmr yet... hmm.. feel like singing k, but nobody's free... *bleah* maybe i shud go sing myself and make it a solo concert of my own! LOL! =)



blocks are finally over! *cheers* haha... hanged out at lj's house the WHOLE DAY!! haha.. not bad.. quite a nice place to chill out and slack.. his house was so nice, like a perfect dream house.. whoa.. totally blown away by his house... cool! and and and!! he has an osim massage chair too! for once i get to sit on it.. :P

anw, not very excited about march hols... haha... dunno why oso.. think my withdrawal symptoms are
coming back.. i betta not allow myself to stop and let my thots stray.. i muz keep myself busy!





WHY MUST THERE BE BLOCK TESTS!!! urgh...

finished math paper today, mugging for tmr's chem paper now.. haiiz.. think i'm realli going to fail it... there's so much to stuff into my mushy, disfunctional brain for oragnic, and i'll mix up all the rxns and mechanisms at the end of the day =( trying to calm myself down by telling myself it's onli a test, but looking at last yr's BT1's standard, i'm so sure i'm going to fail my paper tmr.. 100% guarantee plus chop..

oh wellz, at least i thot today's math paper was okay, dun think i'll fail.. haha.. =P

anw, he'll be going to london, and he refuses to tell mi for how long.. haiiz... wanted to catch up with him during march hols.. asked him juz now and he said he'll prob not be ard anymore.. he sounded least interested in meeting up with mi as well.. maybe he'll feel even worse seeing mi.. i dunno.. it's a realli bad time to feel low now when i need motivation to mug for blocks.. does it mean dat a couple that has broken up cannot be friends again? i realli hope dat time would heal all wounds, and i'm looking forward to the day when we can be botah and jay again.. take care of urself baby..

ok.. i'm going back to k my books.. feeling realli realli low... sigh..



block tests sux.. stayed at home the whole day in an attempt to mug... i tried to force as much info into my head as possible, and my brain is realli saturated now... i need a break.. i need to free myself and go crazy with my friends!! :P

anw, zeh bought yin1 yue4 ri4 ji4 cd, the 2nd one... was listening to it, and came across one story which sounded realli familiar to mi... i soon realised that it was the chinese rendition of the story below..

~~~
My husband was an engineer. Since I met him, he was always an unflappable rock in my life. I knew he always had his feet firmly planted on the ground, and it seemed that no matter what else went crazy, he would be the one constant.

Three years of romance, and two years of marriage later, I got tired. He was the most unromantic man I know. He never bought me flowers, he never surprised me, and nothing changed in our marriage.

After some time, I finally found the courage to tell him that I wanted to leave him. He just sat there, speechless. My heart froze... what kind of man was I married to that didn't even know what to say to make me stay? After a while, he spoke, "What can I do to change your mind?". "I will stay if you can give me a good answer to this question," I replied coldly.

"If I asked for a flower that grew on a cliff, and you knew that getting it for me means certain death, would you get it for me?". His face grew troubled. "Can I give you an answer tomorrow morning?" he asked. Hearing that kind of answer, my heart died. I knew that I could never be happy with a man who couldn't even give me a answer straight away.

The next morning, when I woke up, he was missing. In the living room, under a warm glass of milk, was a note. My eyes grew misty as I read it... "Dear, I have my answer. I will never pick the flower for you if it meant certain death. But before you leave, I hope you can give me a chance to give you my reasons....

You will always sit in front of the computer and type about for the whole day, but everytime you will end up in tears cause your formating will always go all over the place... I need my fingers, to do the formating for you, so your tears will become smiles.

You like to travel, but would always get lost... I need my eyes, so that I can bring you to the nicest places on earth. Everytime you leave the house, you would always forget your keys... I need my legs, so that I can run home to open the door for you.

You never knew how to take care of yourself... I need my hands to help you get rid of the pesky white hair you hate so much when you grow old, to trim your nails, to feed you. So you see, that's why I can't pick the flower for you.

Until I find someone who loves you more than I do, I will need my body to take care of you. If you accept my reasons, then open the door, where I will be waiting with your favourite muffin." With tears streaming from my eyes, I opened the door, and there he stood, with a extremely worried look on his face. He still had nothing to say, but just stood there waving the packet he had in his hand in front of me.

And then I knew for a fact that I will never find another man who will ever love me as much as he does. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean that they don't love you with all they have...
~~~

sweet huh? well.. diz story meant alot to mi once, and i guess deep in my heart, it still means alot to mi... listening to this story simply brought back so much memories.. so much that i started to tear, unknowingly... but i guess i've learnt to stand up once again, and not let my past bound mi... i wouldn't say that i've totally recovered (well, my reaction to this story has already proven why), but i'm almost there...

"us" has become history... i long to see u moving on in life, reaching ur goals and of course, to find a companion for urself.. although it seems like u're perfectly fine now, i'm still worried about u, even after so long... would u be ok? i kept asking myself.. and until now, i still don't haf the ans..

i'm grateful that i had a lot of friends around mi to protect mi, support mi and lend mi a shoulder to cry on.. i won't let all of u down.. i gotta leave everything behind mi and look forward in life... picking up the pieces bit by bit is hard, but i guess time would heal all wounds isn't it? i hate being so vulnerable..