i just took some time to reflect, and to trace God's hand in my life.. i can't thank You more, Lord, for the amazing love, and pple You haf given me.. zeh, ben, mummy, daddy, sisi, siying, kristy, jin, uni pple, 73 pple, 33 survivors, bao guan pple etc etc.. (i've decided not to go into each of them, coz if i do, this is going to be a never ending post.. =])

i realised how much He has done for me, how much He has given me, and how much He has strengthened me.. His providence and deliverence is overwhelming.. after accepting Christ into my life, i see myself growing.. and i noe God is moulding me into a better person.. my outlook of life has changed, and i noe God is in control, not me.. i pray for many things, many pple.. i don't ask for miracles, i just pray that He would keep us in His arms, and that He'll always be our pillar of strength to walk on in life.. He works in ways we cannot see nor comprehend, but He will give us a way.. i always believe that God is love.. if He didn't love me, He wouldn't work His ways in me.. God's love is beyond words, and God's love never fails.. :)

love.word.faith. the three strong pillars of our foundation..

"And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
1 Corinthians 13.13



www.joanchanshufang.blogspot.com

心痛..



guess wat pple! i'm not sleeping.. AGAIN!!! *wat's new*

bah...

i haf my sociology paper tmr at 9am.. reasons why i'm not sleeping:
1. i haf too much revision to do.. din realli touch my soci for the past weeks..
2. i'm scared i can't wake up in the morning..
3. i'm just crazy and cranky.. and trying to be a hero.. hahaha.. :P

summary of my exams so far..
2 very bad papers, 1 very good paper.. hahaha... my biochem and genetics paper were kinda screwed up.. stoopid SWAMI gave some funny dna application question, and was actually thick skinned enought to put his name S-W-A-M-I into the questions as the codons.. gahh.. that was last friday.. today, i came out of my genetics paper in a daze.. i totally couldn't think.. shocked.. haha.. maybe i was just too hungry.. well, at least my IT paper went well.. heehee... and we did well for our project.. so hopefully i'll get an A for this module to buffer my changing landscapes..

my past 2 papers were at 5pm, so wat i did was i ate breakfast, and survived on sardine puffs (yah my sardine puff infatuation is back) all the way until i finish my paper, then dinner at 8.. by the time i'm having dinner, i'm so too hungry i just gorge myself with food.. i don't even stop to talk.. i just keep eating... hahaha... :P and that's bad! coz i feel like all the food is stocked up in my stomach now, giving me the puking sensation.. uncomfy that is..

can't wait for exams to be over!!!!! friday FRIDAY!!!! and zeh's coming back next week! whoohoo yays!!!! den i won't be so lonely at home.. :P

ah wells.. why am i blogging in the middle of an exam crisis!!!! hahaha.. ok it's time to drink tea! and pia thru the night!!!!!! RARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!











"If a girl whose body has been torn apart by illness can carry such strong faith with her, then what authority, do you and i have, to make selfish proclamations that life is too hard to carry on, that we want to give up, that we are sick of everything and everybody around us. the bible teaches us that if we love the Lord, then we will put our trust in Him and question not what he wills us to do but go forth and do it in faith . similarly, if we love the people around us, we must then, have the will to carry on and keep doing what we're doing because they aren't just important to us, but also to those around us. so joan fought on, because of our love for her and her love for us. is it that hard for us to do the same?"
~dawn

it's just another unproductive night..




i haven't stopped thinking about her ever since i knew what happened..

Shufang.. i dunno her personally, but i'm just so deeply saddened by it i can't shake it off.. she was from rgs/rj, rgs NCC, rj softball capt, and she was diagnosed with cancer last year.. now, she's at the terminal stage.. the first thing i do every night when i come home is to switch on my lappie, check my mail and all the relevant blogs for any news on her.. everytime i think about her, i feel tears welling up in my eyes.. i feel so small compared to her.. she's such a fighter, and she has such strong faith in the Lord.. every tear that i shed for her, it's of pain and sadness.. but after crying, i feel foolish.. simply because i noe i should trust that God has His plans for us, and that He would keep her safe, even if it means bringing her home..

news is spreading amongst the class of 2002, and it's moving to know that we haf this love for each other, just because we were all rgs girls.. reading all the emails, and knowing how much the NCC girls have done for her, it's just overwhelming.. it's this love that makes me feel proud to be an RGS girl..

now, all i can offer her is my prayer.. please, please keep shufang in your prayer too..

"Sisters in learning, and Sisters at heart.."



had dinner with ben's parents today.. i was so nervous at first i thot my heart was going to jump out!! haha.. but all went well, and i din do anything disgraceful or unglam.. *phew* i'm feeling happy, coz they're nice people, and i can be myself around them.. :) haha... well, it's a good start.. :)

in case any of you dunno how the boyfriend looks like, here you go..


exam starts on fri... 完蛋完蛋.. 头要爆炸了!!



yesterday was the boyfriend's birthday! hahaha... happie birthday bEN!! :)

i foresee a hectic week ahead, trying to finish up all my mugging, and slotting tuition in between... ahhh... STRESS STRESS STRESS...........................

hahaha... dunno why.. even though i'm kinda stress, i'm not SO stress oso.. hahaha... hopefully all the consistent work would pay off this sem again.. :)

i'm obsessed! hahaha.. obsessed! :P ok.. this is an incoherent post... pardon me! it's exam period.. :)



his name is kirk benjamin.. :)

it's amazing how my life took such a great turn in the past mth.. leaving the past behind, and moving on hand in hand with someone whom i noe would bring alot of joy into my life.. i've taken each step very carefully this time.. and i believe with God by our sides, we would be able to face any difficulties that may lie in front of us.. :)

ben,
thx for making me believe in love again.. and thx for giving me space to recover..
thx for the patience, and thx for giving me faith..
you've been a blessing to me.. :)



He is my new found happiness.. :) thx beN! :)



what is LOVE?
comfort, happiness, all-enduring, everlasting, hope, etc etc?

LOVE is a covenant.. God's promise to us..
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love."
1 John 4:7-8

God is love. :)



finally, i've put everything away.. it's time to start a new page of my life.. :)
thx for all the memories han..
and to you, thx for waiting.. you know who you are.. :)



funnily, good things happened today! haha... firstly, my IT group got voted best for our presentation, and we got a box of 10 rochers as a little reward!!! hahhaa... :P and secondly, i did well for my genetics CA! which was super surprising coz i din do the entire 26 marks calculation question.. and pple ard me did well for the CA too! so i'm very happiE! hahaha.. :)

here's the link to our IT project!
www.comp.nus.edu.sg/~u0502341
zf: there are videos in there! hahaa.. but dun think they're very funny.. the kungfu one is *slightly* funnier.. :P



read this from yiyong's blog..

"So off I go to Africa. Like how Winnie still decided to go to Australia for her missions trip when Chris relapsed. She decided that she must entrust Chris into God's hands. I must learn also that God loves my loved ones more than I do, and He has far greater power to love and heal them than I can. I will not be the foolish child who keeps tugging on tangles I cannot untangle, but I'll give them to You, Lord, cos You know how to unravel everything."

ben was telling me today that i shud stop worrying so much.. worrying for other pple has been such a big part of my life that unknowingly, i'm tiring myself out unnecessarily.. wat yiyong said is very true.. i must learn to entrust my loved ones into God's hands.. i'll keep them in prayer everyday, and i noe God would answer my prayers.. i must stop worrying so much, and also stop complaining so much.. :)




ZHIYANG IS CAMPUS SUPERSTAR!!!!!!!!!!!
BE PROUD TO BE A HWA CHONGIAN!!!
WE'RE ONE BIG FARRRRRRM-ILY!!!!!!!!

WHOOHOOOO!!!!!!! SO HAPPIE!!!!! PRANCING AROUND! AND I'M TYPING IN CAPS!!!!
ZEH!!! HAMSTER WON!!! YAYS!!!!

WAH THIS YEAR DIE DIE OSO MUST GO BACK FOR MAF.. HE'LL DEFINITELY BE SINGING! :p

yeh he's good!!! so happY!! hmm.. just wondering... will mr ang give them half day holiday tmr?!? or maybe he'll make zhiyang sing the school song from now onwards! or maybe zhiyang will hold his own mini concert in school! haha.. i miss hwa chong!!!



Zeh left this morning!!!! she'll be gone for one month! :( :( :( :( :(
isn't she adorable?!?!?!?! ah, of course we haf our fair share of arguments and petty quarrels.. :P but i still LOVE HER VERY MUCH! i'm gonna be a sad little thing for the next mth, trying to mug for my exams without someone to bring me water or talk with me with i'm stressed.. :( one word to describe the next month: unbearable! 



"And the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant, with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus."
~ 1 Timothy 1:14